Tuesday, November 28, 2006

A Multi-Purpose What Now?

We've established by now that Nikki is smart. Smarter than me, for sure, not that that's too hard. But how much smarter than me is she? Well, take this for example:

That is Nikki's patent award for inventing a "Multi-Purpose Coiled Tubing Handling System". How much smarter than me is she? So smart that despite the text telling me what it's for, I have absolutely no idea what it's for...do you?

"A system for reducing the effects of heave movements of a wellhead in an offshore drilling device is provided that includes a frame; a coiled tubing stack supported by the frame; and a heave compensation system for controlling an amount of load transferred from the coiled tubing stack to the wellhead to reduce relative movements between the coiled tubing stack and the wellhead."

Yeah, that's what I thought.

I'm far more excited about this patent than Nikki is. I'm all like, "Wow, that's amazing, I'm so proud of you, well done, that's brilliant, can I come to the award ceremony?" and she's all like "tch, there's a bloke down the hall with 43 of these, it'll be really boring, it's only a buffet anyway."

So, okay, she's smarter than me, but she's wrong about this and I'm right, because it is amazing and I am really proud of her. Well done darling.


Anonymous said...

Congratulations Nikki,well done,of course she's smart she married you did'nt she !!!!
Love Sy Mam

Ian said...

Thanks ma, glad you agree with me. Although not sure the marrying me bit was a result of her smartness or a bump on the head.

Anonymous said...

uhhhh . . . . HOLY COW! I'm with Ian, "Wow, that's amazing, I'm so proud of you, well done, that's brilliant. . . .!" 'Cos it is! So there's a guy down the hall with 43 of them at the rate you're going you'll have surpassed that by the time your 30!

That's AWESOME! Congratulations! You can tell me all about how this works when I visit over the holidays. This is pretty cool stuff!

P.S. Let Ian go to the ceremony - it's really cool that he wants to go support his gal! Then he'll tell those of us who can't be there all about it. The blog is a wonderful thing!

Alex said...

Ah clearly my post didn't come up, I was just saying well done also, getting anything patented in the US is a victory, I'm surprised someone else hadn't patented it in 1860!

Is it a big spring then!? :-)

Iain said...

Alex, I think it's actually a big spring attached to a box - y'see that's the clever bit.

Well done though Nikki. We are very impressed.

Ian said...

You see, this is why Nikki has a patent and you guys don't. The really clever thing here is that it's not a spring at all!

Wait, is that the really clever thing?

Nikki said...

right, do you all want the boring technical details then. It's a big vertical frame with 2 large hydraulic cylinders in it. In the center sits a coiled tubing injector and then the frame is mounted over a wellhead. If the wellhead is offshore on a floating platform then the platform is likely to move with the waves, but the wellhead won't because it's attached to the sea bed. So the frame and the cylinders move up and down with the waves to keep the injector steady. Simple really.

Jen said...

That's EXACTLY what I was going to say it was.

Really. I was.

Okay, maybe not.

Anyhow, it is clever and seems really simple, but it's 2006 and it took YOU to invent it. How long exactly have there been big rigs in the ocean? See? You are a smarty-pants! Way to go!

Anonymous said...

Congratulations. You see we do actually read your blog . Well I do! Just a bit later than other people! We are very impressed well Malc will be when he comes home and I tell him.


Alex said...

What's with all the maternal anonymity round here? Are you ashamed of your children? Ah I see, don't answer that!