Safety First

It seems that making fun of people who know where you live is a dangerous game. So instead, I present a photo of 3 people I've never met before, shopping in Kroger, at 3 o'clock on Sunday afternoon, in their pajamas.

They did look as if they wouldn't have appreciated being snapped in this state, so the photo was taken from a long way away with a tiny cell phone camera from an angle that made it look like I wasn't taking a photo at all.

These were all sensible precautions, because, as I've mentioned these people were shopping in Kroger, at 3 o'clock on a Sunday afternoon, in their pajamas. It's likely they were in a bad mood and would not want to have posed for a picture.

I assume they had just been rudely awoken from a long, deep sleep by someone stealing all the food and clothes in their house, except for the pajamas they were wearing. Being too hungry to give chase at the time, they headed to Kroger to stock up on supplies before tracking down the heinous criminal.

Good luck ladies.

A Post That Could Save A Life

Nothing to see here, but the threats of impending pain and/or death were starting to mount up.

We've moved to the new Blogger, but it should be invisible to everybody. If anything is not working, let me know and I'll fix it. Or moan about it.

Take On Jen

Think you've got the skills to beat Jen at Rock, Paper, Scissors? Think again, fool. Operating under standard RPS rules, 3 pumps and a reveal, see if you can beat her 2 out of 3...ready?

Pump...

Pump...

Pump...

Jen has Paper. Did you have Scissors? Don't lie, you're only delaying the inevitable anyway. Okay, let's go again.

Pump...

Pump...

Pump...

Jen has Double Rocks. Double Rocks beats Single Rock, Paper and Scissors. What do you mean you never heard of double rocks? You ought to familiarise yourself with the rules before taking on Jen, fool. Okay, last chance, ready?

Pump...

Pump...

Pump...

Jen has Rockets. Rockets beat Double Rocks, Single Rock, Paper and Scissors. Jen wins. Thanks for playing. Better luck next time 

A Night Out - Analyzed

The slow descent of a night on the bevvy, as demonstrated by my brother.

Stage 1 - The discussion - 'Hmm, yes, that is a valid point she is making.'

Stage 2 - The argument - "No, no, no, no, what it is, is..."

Stage 3 - The distraction - "Ooh look a pretty butterfly"


Stage 4 - The madness - "Ugh, butterflies taste horrible" 

Another moral dilemma

So, I went off to a local government office during my lunch hour. When I got there they had a big sign saying "Take a Number", under a display indicating that they were now serving number 978. I grabbed the next number - 035. I sat down to wait and noticed, on the chair to the left of me, number 004. The bloke to the right of me had his number, 032, and when his wife came along I moved left to allow her to sit down, picking up 004 and asking the woman in the next chair to the left if it was hers. It was not. 979, 980, 981 went by in about 15 minutes. I was hungry. I still had 035, I decided to put it in my pocket next to 004 and go to Whataburger for some lunch. I had a delicious double bacon cheeseburger, they didn't make until I ordered it and I ate it fairly slowly, then I went back to the government office, which was even more crowded, and where they were now serving 997. I was now 90 minutes into my lunch hour on a day when there was no other server support in the office. 998 was served, quickly followed by 999. 000 was called, no-one moved. 000 was called again, no-one moved. They moved on to 001, which was the guy sitting next to the woman who said 004 was not hers. 002 was called, no-one moved, 002 was called again. No response. 003 was called, then 5 seconds later, 004. I waited, no-one moved, 004 was called again...

So, what should I have done? What are my obligations to the next 30 people in line who had got there before me and do they outweigh my obligations to the company that pays my salary?

Would it win back any Karma points if I handed 035 off to someone else? Does that make someone else randomly lucky or is it just cheating even more people?

New Year Photos?

Nikki and I decided to have a Hogmanay/House Warming party and invited a bunch of friends and our neighbours. A good time was had by all. There was good food, homebrewed beer, normal beer, loads of wine, spirits, men in kilts, drunk people in hot tubs, drunker people in swimming pools. Oh, how I wish Jen hadn't stolen our camera the day before.

Alex and Fi took photos, but despite the fact they never ever update their blog they wouldn't leave me any photos, in case I posted the good stuff before them. Sometime around the middle of 2008 they will get around to posting their pictures. If you think it looked like fun you can try and rearrange your schedule to be in Houston for New Year 08/09.

Anyway, Happy New Year to one and all. Hope you all have as good a 2007 as we had a 2006.

New Quotes

Another late candidate, from my favourite brother this time. When suggesting Jen should have another drink:

"Have a drink you Big Fat Girl"

He's still alive, but Jen did check which knives were sharpest before heading for "bed".

Xmas in Review

Got an Xbox 360. And a lawnmower

May never have time to blog again.

Quote of the year

A late candidate for sure, but I think it might just win the prize.

Nikki, last night, with a steely look of determination in her eyes turned down a couple of empty calories but left no doubt that Christmas was upon us by announcing to Alex, Fi and I:

"The diet stops tomorrow!"

Merry Christmas

Alex and Fi have fought their way through the fog and should be arriving in Houston today, albeit a couple of hours late. Blogging may be light until they leave, since they usually force Nikki and I to consume more alcohol than we want to, so we'd like to take this opportunity to wish you all a very Merry Christmas. Have fun, be safe, remember that it's better to give than to receive and don't forget the batteries.

The above photo was taken by and is therefore copyright of Bruno and is used without his permission. I'm too young to know better and too old to care. Welcome to the Wild Wild Web. He has a website with more photos from the same party, but some of them are incriminating, (of Nikki obviously, not me) so I'm not linking to it.